A Contemplation for your Wednesday

[unsilenceddream]

How do you say 'I'm sorry' if you're not even sure you're in the wrong or, even if you are, how? How do you say 'I'm sorry' when words probably wouldn't be enough? How do you say 'I'm sorry' without actually saying those words - cliche, anyone?

Comments

[zeldakitty.livejournal.com]

Written letter, card, etc. Or an invitation to coffee, dinner, say "I want peace between us as you are a valued friend" or whatever.

I tend to go with "I understand you feel thus and so and I hope that passes"... because really, the bottom line is people want their feelings heard and validated as much as they might want an apology.

Acknowledge, empathize, personalize.

"I understand you feel..."
"It sucks to feel that way..."
"I have felt this before too and understand"

sometimes though, to keep peace, I have apologized even when I did not feel I was in the wrong.

Once though, I almost sent via a nursery, an Olive tree with a card that said simply, "Peace at any price, friend" but it would have been so expensive.

[unsilenceddream.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Your words are appreciated. I've oftentimes been in the situation of apologizing even though I don't think I'm in the wrong - it's what I do.
Take care, and thanks for your comment.

A Contemplation for your Wednesday

[leaffan.livejournal.com]

Wow, to the responder you're brilliant. I know this stuff in my head but I gum these situations up soooooo bad, every time. Me, I'd probably just drink an inordinate amount of coffee and wonder how to get out of the scrape!

Re: A Contemplation for your Wednesday

[unsilenceddream.livejournal.com]

Lol, that solution has crossed my mind, although I don't know how profitable it would be.
Take care, and thanks for the comment.

Balance

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with the prior comment, but only to a point. There are some people who demand to always be right and therefore you must be wrong and apologize. If you get into the habit of being the one who always apologizes (even when its not your fault) you can end up being their emotional punching bag.

I don't know if that's your situation...in fact its probably not. The above type of person is thankfully rare, and I've only met two in my life. Not knowing your own situation, I'd say go with the prior advice but keep the above in mind if the need for apologies starts becoming repetitious.

Mike in TX

Re: Balance

[zeldakitty.livejournal.com]

sometimes I have been known to agree to disagree and still retain the friendship, if it's worth retaining, that is.

[itzazoo.livejournal.com]

I rarely apologize. Usually when I do say I'm sorry, I am specific to apologize for only the parts that I feel that I was in the wrong on. So I might say, "I'm sorry we had that misunderstanding." or "I'm sorry that I lost my temper." That's just me though. I'm not especially gifted in the social niceties department. *smile* I hope you can get it all worked out.

[unsilenceddream.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your kind words. It's appreciated.
Take care, and I hope all is well.